Resources & Tools
Helpful Resources to learn more about Mind-body Approaches:
Trauma and the Nervous System (and strategies to work with it)
How Trauma Gets Stuck in the Body (and How to Work with It)
Healing the Nervous System From Trauma- Somatic Experiencing
Peter Levine Demonstrates How Trauma Sticks in the Body
Know Your Basic Trauma Response
FIGHT
For example, a “fight” response can show up in one of the following ways: Having a quick flash of anger or frustration that is disproportionate to the situation; Getting defensive and trying to prove your case(even if you know you’re wrong, you hold your ground anyway and find it hard to admit fault). Raising your voice and/or displaying aggressive (or rage-like) tendencies; and possibly getting scary to the people you love”. A fight response can lead to an overly critical tone in relationships and ultimately leave a person stuck in survival mode constantly battling against their own biology. Learning your survival style can be key to laying the grounding work for healing your trauma.
FLIGHT
If you have a tendency to flee then this might show up as:
-
“Ignoring a situation or pretending it didn’t happen”
-
"Feeling like you really want to get away, like if you just get a fresh start then things will Change, which may show up as thinking about moving (or actually moving) away from Situations, cities, jobs, relationships, etc.”
-
Leaving the room or conversation and doing your best to avoid any and all confrontation”
-
Getting busy and preoccupied with something that completely the opposite of the situation at hand-you start cleaning, or knitting, etc. in the hope that it will just go away on its own.
FREEZE
If you have a tendency to freeze then it might look like the following:
-
"Going completely blank and finding it hard to express ANYTHING”
-
"Having little or no desire or ability to go out or make any kind of social engagement”
-
Hoping that if you get really quiet and still don’t make a peep the issue will just go away On its own (No one will know, right?)”
-
"Completely forget a stressful (or traumatic) situation even happened...when someone Asks you about it you might say “what are you talking about” (and you really do haveNO recollection of the incident).”
-
Having time pass without much awareness, be it for minutes, hours, days or years”
A Mix of Responses of Fight, flight and Freeze
Many of us default to different responses in different situation which may look like the following:
-
Tend towards fight in some situation.
-
Find yourself wanting to flee in others?
-
Go completely blank and shut down in others.
Not only knowing your survival style is important for your all your relationships it also is important because our bodies are not meant to live in constant survival mode and this can lead to the breakdown of various systems such as digestive, immune, hormonal, muscular, cardiovascular, brain, etc.
Irene Lyon offers free videos and worksheets on your survival style and you can get these by going to this link https://irenelyon.com/healing-trauma-freeresources/
EmotionAid® - Quickly release stress and trauma on the spot
https://emotionaid.tabs.design/
Complex Trauma: Understanding and Treatment, Diane Langberg
How to Turn off the Fight, Flight, Freeze Response
https://therapynutshell.com/
Treatment of Trauma: How Childhood Trauma is Different from PTSD
How to support those with trauma or those who struggle
The best way to start is to be self-aware of enough of your own dysregulated nervous system.
In other words, how often do you get anxious when someone is sharing about difficult situations or traumatic experiences?
We often think we have to fix it and so we start getting anxious about saying the right thing and giving advice. Unfortunately, we most often dismiss that person in the process. Most of the time the other person just wants to be heard and have you hold space for them to externally process some of the distress he/she is feeling.
The best gift we can give others and our own family and friends is the ability to show up regulated and calm. There is a saying that the “strongest Nervous System” in the room wins. In other words, if I walk into a room and I am all “amped up” or in a state of hyperarousal then others can feel this and it can become distressing.
This especially happens in our families and close relationships. We co-regulate with others.
Years ago (and yes still sometimes, I am just more aware) when I began understanding all of this I began to realize that when I walked in the door after being gone for the day and I was still “overwhelmed” or “amped up” then those in the home or room would react accordingly.
